"SAINT JOSEPH THE PARTNER IN LIFE WITH MARY THE MOTHER OF GOD"

By Beverly & Tom Delleart

Introduction: The voice of Joseph may have shared:

Come, join me, my friends. Share time with me. Listen to my story. Where shall I begin? I was living a simple, quiet but good life in Nazareth. Working hard. Making a name for myself within the Jewish community and as an honest craftsman. I never dreamt to be well-known or seen as important. I strove to be known by the work of my hands and the goodness of my heart.

To my gladdened heart, I found someone to share my life. She, Mary, is a young Jewish woman from a good family. Devout, caring. She will make a fine wife, a good homemaker, and with God’s blessing, a wonderful mother to our children.

Much to my humble surprise, her parents find me a good choice as her betrothed and have given consent to our marriage. I hope she’s as thrilled as me.

But just last week, I am told news of enormous significance. She is with child. And, as I swear to you before God, the child is not mine because I know her not in that way. What shall I do?

Of course, I must divorce her. But how? To publicly end our engagement would be disastrous. The scandal. The doubts. What will people say of me? What will her fate be? Perhaps, I can do it quietly. The better for me and for her.

Yet, my friends, you know me as a man of deep faith and conviction. I awoke last night as if in a dream to hear a voice speaking to me. The angel told me, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” (Matthew 1:20-21) Can you believe that? My Mary, chosen by God to bear the Messiah!

What am I to do? What does God ask of me? How can I be father to the Son of God? Impossible. No, God would not have chosen me to do the impossible. With His help, I will be the best father that I can be. I will protect Mary and Jesus, give them shelter, and an abundant home life.

I will teach Him the ways of the Jewish life here on earth, share with Him my values, teach Him a trade, protect Him, and ensure His destiny. I will do whatever God asks of me.

Reflection:

The Scriptures speak little about the person of Joseph. Yet what is written is rich in its meaning. Still, we followed an encouraging nudge to “go deeper.” Drawing upon Ignatian contemplation, we as a married couple, saw Joseph come to life as we shared the fruits of our prayer beginning with the story above.

Why was Joseph chosen as a husband for Mary and earthly father for Jesus? From all sides, Joseph appeared to be just “a common man” of his day and age. No flash. No dazzle. No one out of the ordinary. The typical person God chooses for extraordinary things. A quiet, behind-the-scenes man being called on by God for a most sacred privilege. Little did he know, his service would impact all of creation for eternity. It’s hard to grasp the enormity of this, isn’t it? As “common folk,” too, we feel his perplexity in the situation. So, we asked for the grace to know Joseph through the lens of God.

Sink into the humanity of Joseph’s circumstances, surely he grappled with unanswered questions, personal doubt, shock, confusion, speculation of peoples’ perceptions, potentially losing his friends and economic ramifications. Custom would have dictated that he just dismiss Mary. What drew him to be counter-cultural? What influenced his decision and anchored him? His faith; which was stronger than any doubt, question, or norm.

He knew God and with every fiber of his being, he felt these words from Scripture consoling and being permanently carved in his heart, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). This truth was absolute. With unwavering trust, he moved forward with conviction and accepted not only the call to be Mary’s husband but also selflessly dedicated his life to form a cocoon of safety as the caretaker of Jesus who was the Son of God and the awaited Messiah until God’s time was right to let that be known.

God called often but two of the most notable were uprooting his family to travel to Egypt to protect the Child from Herod and then years later returning to Nazareth to fulfill Jesus’ destiny. These occurrences underscore Joseph as protector and demonstrate his strength of character as guardian for Mary and Jesus.

Honestly, who among us would leave everything? All they have worked for, their established relationships...and without hesitation...just go? To a foreign country, a place unknown, where they would be outsiders. Only someone with a true loving spirit and a heart of service to others.

Joseph’s willingness to generously respond to God’s direction was drawn from the well of his trust in God’s guidance and promises. Undoubtedly there were times of concern, worry, and fear. But it seems that Joseph was inspired with that Ignatian spirit of “agere contra”...acting against what could potentially hold him back. Can’t you just sense Joseph gathering his family with strength, commitment, and persistence declaring, “We must go now.”? He moved with the grace of holy indifference. In freedom, he deepened God’s life in himself and his family.

Joseph patiently waited for the unveiling of God’s plan as he obediently fulfilled being the husband to Mary and foster father of Jesus. He provided the fullness of the simple life...ensuring a prayerful, nurturing, and safe home for them to dwell in. Joseph tirelessly worked alongside Jesus apprenticing Him in carpentry skills. More importantly, he would unselfishly serve by imparting his heart to Jesus by demonstrating his core values of compassion, acceptance, understanding, and perseverance.

As was the tradition, Joseph would be one of the primary teachers and models of faith, steeping Jesus in Jewish belief and tradition. Undoubtedly, Joseph would have been an active defender and advocate for Jesus’ interactions with rabbis and Scripture scholars; a voice of reason and counsel as Jesus navigated the established religious community in His younger years.

We began this reflection with the question, Why Joseph? We found our answer through wonderful insights into Joseph’s character and envisioning how to integrate his traits into our marriage journey. Our lens is now widened. We come away energized to continue in the footsteps of Joseph.

What is the message of Joseph and his life for you?

Beverly is a Certified Spiritual Director serving on the Retreat Staff of Loyola Jesuit Center in Morristown, New Jersey. Bev and Tom are currently offering a Married Couples’ Retreat Series on “Marriage & The Themes of The Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius of Loyola”